Right before I read this I posted a little note to my page. I said I was "In search of being okay with not being okay." We hear it all the time that it's okay to not be okay. But I'm not okay with not being okay. AND, it felt good to take the mask off and say in my own way (to a bunch of beautiful humans who don't know me) that I'm not okay. I'm not fine. It's exhausting to mask. I need a minute. Thank you for this. ♥️
It has been 2 years of realising that I am tired of working and my body needed rest, before I was for people everywhere, had to clean my house no matter what , but now I choose me, the honesty is bliss.
This really resonated with me, especially the idea that being “fine” can become so automatic that we stop checking in with ourselves altogether.
Sometimes “I’m fine” isn’t dishonesty—it’s a survival skill we learned when vulnerability felt unsafe. The problem comes when the coping strategy that once protected us starts keeping us disconnected from our own needs, feelings, and relationships.
The line that stood out most was: “Sometimes loneliness is not the absence of people. Sometimes it is the absence of being known.” That feels incredibly true. We can be surrounded by people and still feel isolated if we’re only sharing the edited version of ourselves.
Healing often isn’t found in dramatic revelations. It’s found in small moments of honesty:
“I’m tired.”
“That hurt.”
“I need help.”
“I need a little more time.”
Those small truths can be surprisingly powerful. They teach us that authenticity doesn’t have to cost us connection—and that the people who genuinely care about us can only support the parts of us they’re allowed to see.
Being “fine” may have helped us survive. Being real is often what helps us heal. ❤️
Reading this today reminds me of the journey I have, and still am taking, to place healthy boundaries within all of my relationships. I was the one who always said yes, always brushed my feelings under the rug and said I’m fine even though I was hurt.
The person I care about hurt me yesterday. But I couldn't say it, show it to the people around me. So I cried a few tears, faked being fine. But the pain is eating me inside and suddenly the words can't come out anymore, the fake smile can't reach my face. I'm in pain but I'm too use to fake. And I stumbled upon your article. Thank you for this. You don't know how much it helps...
I sincerely don't care about who l need to show l'm ok regardless if l'm in pain restless,sleepy,etc do not show it,for what so folks can use it against you No that is why my circle is small if you can disgust sll your feelings and no one sees it then your a master of illusion.
Some of us became “fine” so young
we mistook it for a personality.
The competent one.
The strong one.
The helper.
The listener.
The one who needed very little.
Until one day the body says otherwise.
Until exhaustion arrives.
Or grief.
Or illness.
Or love.
And suddenly we discover
that being able to carry everything
was never the same thing
as being meant to carry everything.
Healing has looked less like becoming stronger
and more like becoming honest.
Honest about my limits.
Honest about my needs.
Honest about the places where I still ache.
There is a strange tenderness
in allowing yourself to be held
after a lifetime of holding everyone else.
Not because you have failed.
But because you were never supposed to do this alone.
The strongest people I know
are not the ones who need nothing.
They are the ones who finally learned
to receive.
This was beautiful and SO helpful! thank you!!!
Right before I read this I posted a little note to my page. I said I was "In search of being okay with not being okay." We hear it all the time that it's okay to not be okay. But I'm not okay with not being okay. AND, it felt good to take the mask off and say in my own way (to a bunch of beautiful humans who don't know me) that I'm not okay. I'm not fine. It's exhausting to mask. I need a minute. Thank you for this. ♥️
It has been 2 years of realising that I am tired of working and my body needed rest, before I was for people everywhere, had to clean my house no matter what , but now I choose me, the honesty is bliss.
This really resonated with me, especially the idea that being “fine” can become so automatic that we stop checking in with ourselves altogether.
Sometimes “I’m fine” isn’t dishonesty—it’s a survival skill we learned when vulnerability felt unsafe. The problem comes when the coping strategy that once protected us starts keeping us disconnected from our own needs, feelings, and relationships.
The line that stood out most was: “Sometimes loneliness is not the absence of people. Sometimes it is the absence of being known.” That feels incredibly true. We can be surrounded by people and still feel isolated if we’re only sharing the edited version of ourselves.
Healing often isn’t found in dramatic revelations. It’s found in small moments of honesty:
“I’m tired.”
“That hurt.”
“I need help.”
“I need a little more time.”
Those small truths can be surprisingly powerful. They teach us that authenticity doesn’t have to cost us connection—and that the people who genuinely care about us can only support the parts of us they’re allowed to see.
Being “fine” may have helped us survive. Being real is often what helps us heal. ❤️
Reading this today reminds me of the journey I have, and still am taking, to place healthy boundaries within all of my relationships. I was the one who always said yes, always brushed my feelings under the rug and said I’m fine even though I was hurt.
The person I care about hurt me yesterday. But I couldn't say it, show it to the people around me. So I cried a few tears, faked being fine. But the pain is eating me inside and suddenly the words can't come out anymore, the fake smile can't reach my face. I'm in pain but I'm too use to fake. And I stumbled upon your article. Thank you for this. You don't know how much it helps...
I sincerely don't care about who l need to show l'm ok regardless if l'm in pain restless,sleepy,etc do not show it,for what so folks can use it against you No that is why my circle is small if you can disgust sll your feelings and no one sees it then your a master of illusion.